The impostor syndrome, do you have it? by Pilar Ortiz
November 5, 2020
Have you ever heard about the impostor syndrome?
I want you to try and think of answers to the following questions: What do you feel when you achieve a success? How do you react? How do you tell people about it? What words would you use to describe it? How would you promote it in your networks? Think about the triumphs you’ve had, and the emotions that they bring to you... Do you leave these emotions to yourself? Or do you run to your family and friends and tell them everything?
The impostor syndrome is a psychological phenomenon presented in 70% of the adult population, where the affected person tends to minimize their achievements and, in general, they lose self-confidence. The impostor syndrome is called this way because it arises from the fear of "having others find out that you are not the person who you say you are; that others will find out that you don't know enough". These thoughts arise from the self-sabotage that your mind does, and it is very important to identify when and how we are feeling the impostor syndrome in our lives. The best thing is to understand it, accept it and learn to overcome it.
The impostor syndrome is present in most common events. When we obtain a victory and we minimize it, one usually says: "It was just luck. It was easy, no one will see it as a big deal". We tend to take power and strength away from our achievements. This may be due to a cultural factor of "let's not talk about ourselves so much". However, it is always good to have a balance between humility and arrogance and see our achievements for what they are: positive events which are worth promoting.
I have recognized this phenomenon at different points in my life, such as when I started coaching and giving speeches to huge audiences. In 2009, when I started coaching, my mind had me saying to myself: "If they only knew, I have no idea! I have never done coaching! I am not fit to stand in front of them and teach them, I am not 30 years old anymore!” However, that was not the truth. Actually, I already had a lot of experience as a coach after a long career at Univisión, training people and being the director. I minimized my achievements and started doubting them, when the facts and experience showed me that I truly was capable.
In short, I was afraid that people would perceive me as a fraud, when clearly, I was not. The mind can play tricks on you out of fear and to stay in the comfort zone. The reality is that I was ready and capable, and I just had to focus on my experience.
Now, why does this happen?
- We have been taught unrealistic expectations. The expectation is that everything has to go right, quickly and without seeing any failures. When we don't see failures we think it is because there are never any. Besides, the word failure does not exist for me. Failures are life lessons where every time we fall, we get up with more strength. When things don't go your way with these expectations, you think “I'm not as good as the others”.
- Paradoxically, the more knowledge we have about a subject, the more distrustful we can become. By knowing a lot, we know that knowledge is practically never-ending, and we can get lost in the sea of expectation.
- At the same time, the impostor syndrome can be caused by the social circles we are part of. Our bosses, friends, family, do they support you? Or, when you fail, do they criticize you? When you succeed, do they not recognize it? They will greatly influence how we feel about our achievements. Don't let yourself fall into psychological suggestion, the best thing is to work on ourselves in order to surround ourselves with people who motivate us to grow. In other words, a circle of positive influence.
This is why it is important to place our attention on ourselves if we begin to suspect that we are falling into the spiral of the impostor syndrome. We must realize what we feel and how we feel it, make a conscious examination of our achievements and capabilities, and not fall into minimization and self-sabotage. Let's keep expectations as they are: let's celebrate successes and understand that “failures” are life lessons, and everyone has them. The best things start to happen when you believe in yourself.
